Thanks to everyone for making the tour so much fun.
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9 comments:
well done guys , many thnks , for a great tour , with many magic memoroies ha ha its the wond , now pick a window
will be up soon ok
thanks again
Snidge’s statement will say:
"This statement is true to the best of my knowledge and belief and I make it knowing that, if it is tendered in evidence, I shall be liable to prosecution if I have wilfully stated in it anything which I know to be false or do not believe to be true."
Firstly, I think a huge vote of thanks is to be given to Sklig for organising the tour. Well done! I’m forwarding my BUPA estimate for a liver transplant directly to you. Seriously though, we all appreciate it is an arduous and anxiety provoking task to organise a tour and you rose to the occasion admirably. To satisfy a disparate group of grumpy old men is not easy, so, with youth on your side, you ought to think seriously about opening the care home for retired Vanguards (perhaps Magic could be the entertainments officer and it could then be sponsored by a double-glazing firm).
I thought I knew what was meant by ‘What goes on tour stays on tour’; however, I did not realise that it included items of personal clothing. I had considered reporting my missing jacket to the police, but after explaining several times to Vanguards that it was a khaki jacket not my car keys that had gone, I decided not to bother. One of you actually said to me “Oh that’s a bugger if your car keys were in it” – at that point I was beginning to lose the will to live.
Talking of losing the will to live – Alan, my heart goes out to you having shared a room with Roy Anderson and having only just finished receiving counselling. The sad thing is that normal people will never believe what you tell them. It’s better not to try.
Magic – good to hear that you enjoyed yourself, and I look forward to seeing you at the Army versus Navy Veterans’ annual Pat-a-Cake Match – I believe you are captain this year – congratulations! (I’ll take the round window).
Merv, I think thanks are due to you for being tour guide; I was fascinated to see the four houses where your mothers were born. Is it true that we had to fly because the Cornish people still have a road-check on the M5 to make sure you don’t come back? Anyway now we’ve all paid for part of the Newquay airport, Taff should be allowed to collect his luggage that they would not allow him to bring out.
Bucky, I was only too pleased to nominate you for the Tour Captain award and will put the money you gave me towards a new jacket. I hope your dorsal remonstrator muscle is out of spasm again and that we will see you fit and healthy in the near future.
Coops (Spooc), apparently the pubs in Newquay expect to have replenished their alcohol stocks within the week; well done on depleting their entire stock. By the way, Betty Stoggs is not alive, so I’d hold on the divorce proceedings if I were you.
Roy, I thought I’d point out something that amused me that you probably didn’t notice; that is, how quick the landladies were to stick the ‘NO’ in front of the ‘VACANCIES’ sign as you walked past the guest houses. It was like a very slow Mexican wave as you went along.
Julian, I hope you have recovered from the flight home, but I must admit your attempt to swim home from Padstow was never going to be successful. Don’t worry about the fact that you exposed yourself on the beach; I have seen the Mr Bean sketch and all those families were blind.
And SKNAB (with the silent ‘k’ as in ‘knob’), I should imagine you are pleased that the nasal hair harvest is safely gathered in for another year; just the harvest festival to go now. I suppose you’ll have to complain about the lack of subsidies for this particular crop, perhaps you could have one nostril set aside next season.
Thanks to all who went on tour for making it so enjoyable, and it just proves the old saying ‘When the Vanguards tour, the whole is greater than the sum of the prats’.
Snidge
Fantastic summary from Snidger.
My contribution for the new fat face jacket is appropriate. I will endeavour to fund you for some "funny legs" trousers and "sticky out ears" hat as well.
Mr Dikip says:
Great tour, thanks to my ex-Army mates for stepping up to the tour, forgot what Magic is capable of.......
Suffering this week with coping with only 5 fingers, been assured by my family that the 6th finger only re-sprouts on entering Cornwall. Disappears on paying £5.00 to escape!
Well Done to Sklig and of course his lovely wife who saved many of you from travelling in the back of his comfortable van.
Good to converse with Roy, however, now seen enough, time to go back to being the "Mystery" man.
I do have a number of interesting photos, toddger Julian is fully exposed, well if you zoom in, but then Bucky did say it was cold.
Great Tour, role on to Steve the volunteer for next year. Pick a window.
Taff
Lads, just to say thanks for the eye opener, aka the Tour. What a pleasure it was to be one of the youngest on that pitch! Merv, I'm still in the Army, so less of the ex-Army comments. Magic - Thanks for reminding me why I only see you every 5 years! I see your p**** is now on UTube and has had 2 hits.....Coops - I have sourced a translator for the next tour who should be able to tell ne what the hell you are talking about once you have drunk 20 pints! Remind me to wave you past if I'm ever after a taxi. Merv - Thanks for all the animal noises you managed to produce in our room and have you changed over your travel cock for the real on yet! Bucky - I have a sock of yours! I didn't want to touch it as it looked quite stiff, but ai'll assume you use a lot of starch in your wash! Hopefully Roy managed to steer his car home without to much effort! Did I also say I saw one of the maids wearing a Khaki coat (without car keys!).....anyone missing a coat? I hope I get an invite next year but look forward to starting next season. Who are the Exiles as they have asked as well? Are they as drunk on tour, if not I'll pass!
Taff,
The Exiles are a fine bunch of men, of that there is no doubt. What we have found more recently is that we have had to merge somewhat so we can honour fixtures. There is no telling what will happen next season. Doesn't matter really as long as you play. The downside is that you will have to see Merv more often than once every five years...
I think I said Magic evert five years! Merv I can just about put up with more often......merv, you know I'm joking!!!!!
Bucky - My first Sat off this weekend and I'm having to play the round ball game in a Charity match!!!
hope everyone enjoyed the tour, best of luck for stve next year - Mer knows the drill better than me he will help out all the way (LOL)
hope to see you all soon,
sklig
Taff, you were referring to Magic when you said the five year thing, sorry for not having read it properly (I do struggle to understand Welsh sometimes).
Good luck with the girls' game - watch those ankles.
Thanks again to Sklig (and Mrs Sklig) for outstanding organisation (could have been a military operation - we had enough soldiers anyway).
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